I am sitting in the cool, autumn air of the River Terrace Inn patio bar in Napa, a Tanqueray & Tonic in hand, staring at my winning lottery ticket. I am now a very, very rich man. This week’s jackpot was a cool $40 million,… Read More »Winning The Lottery
I remember quite vividly watching the very first Viagra commercial on TV about twenty years ago, mostly because it was such a surreal moment. There was Senator Bob Dole, the flag bearer of 80’s conservatism, espousing the virtues of The Little Blue Wonder, in a… Read More »The Performance Issue
It’s no secret that I want my daughter to become the first sommelier to get certified before the age of ten..though it might be a secret to Child Protective Services, so maybe we should keep this little tidbit under the hat. There’s no doubt she’s… Read More »Smile, Though Your Punt Is Aching
“Daddy,” my four-year-old asked me, “should I take The Slutty Path?” It has been three years since my Perfect Unicorn Princess asked me this little gem at random. I still remember the feeling of two full ounces of Tous Les Jours Pinot Noir spraying out… Read More »Kids, God, and The Slutty Path
“Let us be lovers, we’ll marry our fortunes togetherI’ve got some real estate here in my bag…” Paul Simon The other day, I was invited to a very dear friend’s wedding. At 48, I don’t go to many weddings anymore. The Bulk Wedding Years between… Read More »The Perfect Day
Back in high school, I was a nerd. Now, to put this in context, when I was in high school, we had to share crosswalk space with dinosaurs and bands had names like “Kajagoogoo.” Granted, I was not your typical Coke-bottle-glasses-wearing, pocket-protector-sportin’ nerd, nor did… Read More »Schrodinger’s Chardonnay, Part 1
I know the whole “kids say the darndest things” topic is burned out. As parents, we think that every weird conversation we have with our newly-brained toddlers is either a sign of savant genius or some direct telephone line to God. I have three kids.… Read More »My Weird Conversation This Morning With My 3-Year-Old On The Way To Preschool