The Four Reasons Why Tinder Made My Skin Crawl

Yes, this is actually a wine review, because it took me an entire bottle of the below-mentioned liquid courage to muster up the cajones to create my first Tinder account. It was my chronically-single friend from LA that first convinced me to check it out. “Dude,” he implored with that tone that only attorneys seem …

Schrodinger’s Chardonnay, Part II

I have to apologize that it has been exactly four years between Schrödinger’s Chardonnay, Part I, and this sequel. Insert many lame reasons for this fact right here. That said, it doesn’t come close to the longest gap between movie sequels, a record held by Bambi and Bambi II at sixty-three years. For those of …

Smile, Though Your Punt Is Aching

It’s no secret that I want my daughter to become the first sommelier to get certified before the age of ten..though it might be a secret to Child Protective Services, so maybe we should keep this little tidbit under the hat. There’s no doubt she’s got the skills. She single-handedly developed the Unicorn Fart Scale …

Kids, God and The Slutty Path

“Daddy,” my four-year-old asked me, “should I take The Slutty Path?” Its been three years since my Perfect Unicorn Princess asked me this little gem at random, and I still remember the feeling of two full ounces of Lodi Old Vine Zinfandel spraying out my nose when it happened (and thinking the wine tasted the …

Happy Birthday, Mr. Taylor! Here’s Your Gross, Old Wine.

I have a birthday this week, and I’m going to be old. Seriously, if I don’t die of old age before I’m finished writing this, I will officially be the oldest person you’ve ever known. Like, take the most ancient person on the planet, add 37 years to that, and that’s how old I’m going …

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