The Blog

biker gang riding to napa

My Neighbor, The Biker: Part 1

Was I judging this guy – who’s obviously a member of my community – simply because of the way he looks? And isn’t that a huge problem with what’s going on in our society today in general? Am I really…that guy? Judge Thy Neighbor Guy? So, I decided to do what everyone does when they face a crisis of conscience: get on Google. And what I found was…unusual.

Suburban disappointment syndrome

Suburban Disappointment Syndrome

I recognize this despondency all too well. It’s Suburban Disappointment Syndrome, the utterly ironic condition where you get everything you asked for – but didn’t know it would be like this. SDS is the fine print in the 200-page Terms of Service that comes with the American Dream.

daddy juice, a blog on pairs with life

Daddy Juice

In the early 2000’s, when my son was only five years old, we’d enjoy frequent trips to the local park, which was walking distance from my coldly expensive and loveless suburban home. At that time – less than twenty years ago – I was pretty much the Pariah of The Park: the lone father among a gaggle of surgically-crafted moms. Obviously, there could only be two reasons I was at a playground at 11:35AM on a Tuesday:

3 Ways Your Cat Secretly Hates You

3 Signs Your Cat Secretly Hates You

  • by
  • 5 min read

Cats are horrible. I should know. I have one. I have been both a Dog Person and a Cat Person at various stages of my life, and currently I’d have to describe myself as an Indentured Cat Person.

The Man Who Died Five Times

The Man Who Died Five Times

Random people talk to me. Specifically, people I’ve never met come up to me at random and confess weird shit about themselves. I have a theory about this now: a theory that goes against pretty much everything I’ve believed up until this point in my life.

Pairs Wit life and the toot fairy

The Tooth Fairy, Belief Systems and Other Myths

  • by
  • 5 min read

The last note my daughter wrote asked the Tooth Fairy what she did with all the teeth she collected. I responded with a five-page short story that involved Fairy Armies, The Bone Demon and The Magical Dust of The Great Oral Cavity. She found it wildly entertaining, but I may as well have answered her note with, “Yeah, you got me, it’s dad.”

Unhappy Sex Face

Unhappy Sex Face

  • by
  • 6 min read

It wasn’t a hookup. We had been on three dates over the period of a month, and had reached that oh-so-intimate phase of texting each other during the day. When she asked if I wanted to have dinner at her place for our fourth date,… Read More »Unhappy Sex Face